Right after I arrive at school each morning, I sit down and journal for a few minutes at my desk. I try to clear my head and set my intentions for that day, and oftentimes I just ramble so that my brain can move on to being productive. Mostly it’s personal nonsense — a weird dream I had, a list of random complaints, or a conversation with someone I need to get around to.
Every once in a while, though, I write something that might actually make sense to other people. I wouldn’t call these entries “timeless” or “universal,” but I imagine they’re relatable to the general public. I love to write, and I enjoy sharing stories and ideas, so I often think about giving these “Dear Diary” moments the light of day.
I’d like to share one today that stood out to me, and hopefully it resonates with you.
(Note: When I say “you” in my journal, I mean myself as much as anyone. And yes, I really talk to myself this way–hopefully you’re kinder to yourself.)
The best way to get through light is to always remember that the way people talk to you and treat you says more about them than you.
When some is rude to you, they are the rude person. If they call you ugly or stupid or annoying, they are being ugly in that moment.
It’s not that people can’t criticize you or truthfully reflect your flaws, but so much of what triggers me is entirely my misreading of the situation. When a kid talks back to me, they have a problem. Why do I make it my problem? Worse — why do I treat it as a direct affront?
I do this a lot. I tell myself not to do this a lot. I still haven’t fully absorbed it yet.
Is this because I have such a feeble sense of who I am that I actually think immature behavior can knock me down?
Do I believe other people’s behavior is my responsibility? That I can control what they say and do? That I am duty-bound to correct every slight?
Or is it because I am also rude, or thoughtless, or immature, and I don’t like the reflection I see in others?
I sure seem to act that way sometimes. I mean, aren’t those kind of behaviors, that way of speaking, my #1 cause of interpersonal trouble? Do I not regret that aspect of my character the most?
Today, work on yourself. Be the person you want others to be. If they can bring you down, you can just as easily bring them up. And when you’re both up, it’s so much easier to keep each other balanced.
December 7, 2022
M. J. Lau 