October Observations

Fall is a time of slowing down.

A season of thoughtful reflection.

A chance to remember the cycles of life in all their colorful splendor.

A brief window where it is socially acceptable to eat as much pumpkin pie as humanly possible.

While I haven’t done much of the latter, I have been trying to pause more lately and act more purposefully. Autumn can be chaotic for us teachers, so it’s harder (but therefore more important) to carve out some time to be present, be balanced, and be mindful of what we’re trying to accomplish with all our running about.

So here’s what I’ve been doing lately to keep myself Present, Balanced, and Mindful.

How I (Try to) Stay in the Present

Our minds like to tell us all the things we should get done today, or all the things we didn’t do yet, but somehow that brilliant thinkbox forgets this little detail:

WE CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME!

So I tell myself several times a day, “I am doing exactly what I need to be doing right now.” That means:

• When I’m driving to work, that’s what I should be doing at that time.
• When I’m eating lunch, I feel good knowing that’s the appropriate thing to do in the moment.
• When I lay down to sleep at night, I am relieved when I remind myself that sleeping is precisely what I should be doing just then.

This helps me feel less pressure to worry about the future — it’s not here yet! I’m doing the right thing at the moment, which is the best I can ever do.

Balancing Act

Did you know there was no plural for the word “priority” until after the Industrial Revolution? For centuries, people could only have one priority, which makes sense when you consider the word — how could you have multiple things at the top of your “TO DO” list?

In our modern world, we all seem to have several highly important aspects of our lives — family, work, our community, our health, the ecosystem — and it’s hard to balance them if we consider all of them to be “priorities.”

“So what do you do, oh wise guru Lau?”

Obviously I’m nothing of the sort, but I’ll share what I do (at the moment, anyway).

Basically I base my priorities by my surroundings — family, work, alone.

• When I’m with my family, they are my priority (playing outside with my kids, making dinner with my wife, watching a movie all together)
• When I’m at work, my priority is my job (helping my students, planning lessons, grading work)
• When I’m alone, my priority is my health (working out, listening to podcasts, reading or writing)

This framework helps me choose my focus when there’s potential overlap. For example, I “sometimes” have to bring work home with me, but if my family is around, they take precedence over work. If I’m alone listening to a podcast and I have work to do, I *try* to put off the podcast until I’m done *some* of my work.

There are limits to these “tie-breakers” — I won’t choose work over my health all day long, nor will I give my kids unlimited attention if I have to work out or get some papers graded. I like having a system and routines for a typical day, but I have to maintain balance when things shift, so I’m comfortable taking some alone time to write or buckling down to do work when I know I haven’t put much time into those things recently.

Mind Yourself

That’s a lot, huh?

It can often feel like there are so many Needs and Musts and Shoulds that we can never catch up or stop to catch our breath.

But seriously, just stop and breathe right now. Breathe out some of that stress and breathe in some relaxation. It’s simple, but just breathing goes a long way toward calming the body and mind.

Your mind, I’m sorry to say, has no off-switch. Thoughts flood your consciousness day and night — do you ask for them? Do you choose them? No, they just barge into your head like some crazy person walking through your front door, and they follow you around all day harassing you.

So I can’t stop your thoughts, but I can help you put them in perspective, which might make them less annoying or upsetting.

1. Write them down. Sometimes a thought is very engaging or surprising and you want to dwell on it or work it out. If you write it down, it stays there on the paper (or screen) as long as you want. You can leave it there for a while if you need to and come back to it later — or just let it go now that you stopped in from ricocheting around your cranium like that endless loop of “Baby Shark” you just got rid of (sorry… 😬).
2. Use their power. Thoughts can impact our mood — we could be having a great day and one critical thought can pull us down into a funk. Conversely, we can think of our best friend and suddenly go from complaining to laughing. Thoughts parade through our heads all day, but we do have some power to direct our attention and conjure up memories that help us rather than trap us in whirlpools.
3. Remember their limits. It might seem trite, but it’s deeply true: Thoughts are just thoughts. They are the everchanging inhabitants of your mind. You didn’t create them. You don’t owe them your attention. You don’t have to act on them. They are just ripples in the endless stream of consciousness… notice them if you want, but you don’t have to react to them. There will be others passing through your head, so just let them pass.

So I invite you to dwell on these musings as long as you like…or move on to other thoughts, wherever they come from or lead.