I’ve never imagined myself to be a very ambitious person — oh, sure, I want plenty of things, I hope life will go my way, I dream of wild successes and waves of adulation. But I can’t say I always work hard for what I want. I tend to put a lot of effort into something early on, then my motivation fades as the climb gets harder or the rewards are less forthcoming than I envisioned.
It’s not like I never accomplish anything, but my dedication is spotty at best. It has often been a mystery to me how I can want something so intensely, have such ambition early on, then lose my taste for it before I’d really gotten a bite. Conversely, I have felt incredibly gratified doing things I didn’t plan on doing, even if I didn’t “get anything” out of it.
What I’m saying is it took me a long time to realize that why I want something is more important than what I want.
“What” is a materialistic motivation–it’s rapacious, acquisitive, and other fancy words that mean “greedy.” When you strive for what, you’re trying to gain objects, wealth, power, prestige, or other external markers of your success. In short, you’re focused on the product of your efforts. No one is motivated long-term by things… and once the motivation fades, your momentum peters out.
“Why” is a values-based motivation–it could still be greedy or selfish, but it has the potential to be generous, creative, other-oriented. If you feel good about your why, you get joy from the process, not the product. “Why” sustains you more than any temporary reward can; it’s something that pulls you forward rather than shoving you from behind.
So find your “why”… you’re probably already operating according to it, even if you haven’t consciously decided what it is yet. Once you acknowledge it, you’ll be able to set goals and focus on next-steps with greater clarity.
M. J. Lau 